Polish your English with “The Master and Margarita”! Issue 21. Try to render in English:
“И тут знойный воздух сгустился перед ним, и соткался из этого воздуха прозрачный гражданин престранного вида.”
And then the hot air congealed in front of him, and out of it materialized a transparent man of most bizarre appearance.
At this moment the fiery air before him condensed and spun itself into a transparent citizen of the strangest appearance.
And then the muggy air thickened before him and wove itself into a transparent gentleman of the strangest appearance.
And here the sweltering air thickened before him, and a transparent citizen of the strangest appearance wove himself out of it.
And then the sultry air thickened before him, and out of this air was woven a transparent citizen of very strange appearance.
Just then the sultry air coagulated and wove itself into the shape of a man — a transparent man of the strangest appearance.
And then the hot air thickened before him, and a transparent citizen of a strange kind was woven from this air.
Big Boris’ Commentary:
1. Observe that [AmB] and [BrA] preferred Inversion (Verb before Subject). Try to explain this.
2. Observe that [BrA] preferred Passive Voice. Try to explain this.
3. Observe that the transparent guy was quite active in “condensing” with [AmB] and [AmP], while quite passive with the others. Try to explain the difference.
Don’t hesitate to comment and propose your variants of translation!
Legend (“Am” = American English, “Br” = British English):
[AmB] — Burgin, O’Connor 1995
[AmG] — Ginsburg 1967
[AmI] — Itallie 1993 (Theatrical Adaptation)
[AmK] — Karpelson 2006
[AmP] — Pevear, Volokhonsky 1997
[BrA] — Aplin 2008
[BrG] — Glenny 1967
[GT] — Google Translate
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